A one Change For Ever

Time is feeling so slow to go by, for i just have a shower god after quite some time being and feeling dirty and miserable, i'm thinking of you moira, unfortunately you dont want to do some little just for help nothing more.
And so it seems i won't be here for quite some time now since i'll be starting a long and painful process from next monday 9th of April 09'.
Yes, again, indeed @ Dar L'Impenn for an unevitable sic Detoxification from Methadone and Heroin altogetherand then from there i move out on the 16th of February 09' to go to Oasi escorted on a drowsy Ship leaving Malta by sea to go to Gozo!. That day I'll have to wake up early from sleep if i do sleep and get the 7:30am Ship destination Gozo to be there, visited by a Doctor at 8:15am and therfore start The 6 months or more Rehabilitation Therapeutic Program.
So then once started I will spend the first intense three months as Residential with the obvious rule of not leaving out of the place for any reason, and then spend the next 3 other months as a semi residential at the half way house with the difference of being able to be kind of trusted to leave the place on your own or with other residents. The Oasi Program is based on the twelve steps and evidentially we also Have N.A. meetings twice a week. The first seven weeks are very intense. The first week or maybe two weeks, I'll be having still some side effects and withdrawal symptoms due to the Detoxification. but i know for sure even cause of prior experiences i had in the 8 years being a Junky, that with several sessions per day with a psychologist, key worker and carers and my personal counsellor Tania i will be able to fill my mind with positive toughts instead of wasting time thinking the same wrong things over and over again.
There's even one thing in particular i will really like at oasi instead of other places is the early morning walk which will mentally help me to the rest of the day for sure.
I am seriously really looking forward to do it this time , cause now it's been a long time since i'm overbored repeating the same hard routine for years. I say to myself that i know i have to do it, and i will surely do it and stay clean for the rest of my life for a simple reason that is i just dont want even for free to repeat just one minute of that junky life, Cause i just want to Own my beautiful life back, start making music again and keep a decent job and forget all the things i had to go through to fix myslef every damned junky day. I want to live and be free and content even with nothing! It's Just I don't want that addiction back!! I've wasted many years. Now i'm sure and looking forward to make every single second of my life free to dol all the nice things i want to any time i want to!!!

Darren Gatt
Band: TOTEMA.

Politika Populari / Anomija ta' l 11 9 08 2128-

Ghejna lill xulxin niehdu l-izball
u issa l ugiegh diehel il gewwa.
L-affari difficli biex tigi as sewwa!
Il hames snin jghaddu
u ahna nibqghu ghedewwa
Tarana mill-boghod tahsibna mejtin,
tinduna li hajjin, jekk int tersaq vicin
Pero, Sirna falza din li nisthu minn xulxin.
Ahna kollha nixtiequ wisq!ghax inhossu l faqar qieghed jaghfas wisq!
Is-sens ta telfa jirbah, fuq is sens ta appartenenza,
Tifhima!?!! l' is-sens tal hajja spicca w kulhadd ifittex dik il bicca
Tifimha l'qtugh ta qalb?, il hin kollu?, dak it talb
Pero! Jekk il hsieb tal-bidla, u it- tama u l-holm jispicca...
Mela l-kbarat jiggustifikaw il hazin kollu li jgibu aw.
u meta l ewwel jigu huma u jbieghu l hemm kull ma hawn aw.
il prezz tal hajja dejjem joghla u qatt xejn ma thoss gej l-hawn.
Tibda tixba wisq minn kollox, u l-qtugh ta qalb jirbah malajr.